Tuesday 27 April 2010

The Four Horsemen of the Acropolis

If you were going to get a tattoo, what would you get?

First things first, I don't have a tattoo, I don't want a tattoo, I have seen some splendid body art in my time including, and, I kid you not, the cover art, originally by Josh Kirby, of Terry Pratchett's the "Colour of Magic" on a fat blond in a Swimming Pool in Birmingham.

The reason I ask is that I am interested in the way people think and this is as good 'a question as any for wandering around inside someone's head. Some people go with...."if you were a biscuit, what type of biscuit would you be?" but personally I think asking them what image they would have permanently displayed on their body really gets under the skin. ooh - that was almost clever!

Incidentally, I would be the manky, soggy, broken Rich Tea that has been lurking at the bottom of the biscuit barrel for a couple of months and is in no way an attractive morsel.

In my imaginary world I went to the the Tattooist and asked for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse dragging the still bleeding corpses of Maria Carey and the one who sang the Titanic Theme Tune along a road built from the bones of Andrew Lloyd-Webber. Unfortunately he mis-heard me and I have Steve, Davey, Wazza and Craig astride their Peugeot Speedfighters as they wait to deliver Hawaiians and Quattro formaggios from the Acropolis Pizza Palace on the High Street.

I must learn to a) enunciate and b) go to an Tattooist who says "are you sure?" rather than getting busy knocking up a modern urban landscape.

Back to reality.

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